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Early Pregnancy Loss parent guide

Caring for yourself in
early pregnancy

When and where to get help

Part 2

What to ask your care provider

It’s normal to have questions. You don’t have to remember everything — some people write their questions down or bring someone with them for support. 

Here are some questions you might ask:

  • What symptoms should I watch for now?
  • How can I best look after myself and my pregnancy?
  • What tests or check-ups might be needed?
  • What happens next if I lose the pregnancy?
  • Are there any treatments or options for care?
  • What should I do if I have strong pain or heavy bleeding?
  • How can I support my emotional wellbeing?
  • What support is available for me and my family?
  • How might this affect future pregnancies, and what should I know?

These are just some examples. Everyone’s experience is different, and your questions might be too. Whatever you’re wondering, you deserve clear answers and support.

A flat illustration showing a couple standing together while a professional stands opposite them, gesturing as if explaining or discussing something. The professional holds a folder and wears an identification lanyard, suggesting a healthcare, social care, or support service setting. The scene conveys guidance, communication, and shared decision-making.

Planning Ahead

You may like to take a moment to write down things that are important. 

On a notepad or some paper, write down your thoughts on the following:

  • My notes — What things do I want to remember?
  • Questions for your healthcare team — What do I want to ask?
  • Next steps — What’s planned after this visit?

This can help you feel organised and supported as you move forward.

Being gentle with yourself through uncertainty

Uncertainty can feel overwhelming. It’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters most is being kind to yourself, especially when things feel unclear or out of your control. 

Here are some gentle reminders that might help:

  • Accept that some things are unknown.
  • Let go of the need to plan for every outcome.
  • Focus on what you can do or decide.
  • Take breaks and give yourself moments of calm.
  • Speak kindly to yourself if you feel uneasy.
  • Go one step at a time.
  • Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.

Getting support and dealing with uncertainty

Taking in information

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or emotional. You might feel foggy, and you may not remember everything.

  • Ask your care provider to write down key points or give you something to read later.
  • Bring a partner, friend, or support person to help ask questions and remember what was said.

If you’re told to “wait and see”

Ask your care provider:

  •  How long should I wait before checking back?
  •  What should I expect during this time?
  •  What should I do if my symptoms change or get worse?

Knowing these things can help you feel more prepared.

Coping with the waiting

The challenge of uncertainty

Waiting can be hard — whether it’s for test results, symptoms to change, or a miscarriage to happen. Often, there’s nothing you can do to change the outcome, and that can feel scary and frustrating.

Your emotions are valid

This kind of uncertainty can bring up many feelings. You might feel sad, worried, angry, or stuck. It can affect your sleep, focus, or mood. These feelings are normal — and you’re not alone.

One step at a time

Try to take things one step at a time. Having a small plan can help you feel a bit more in control.

You might want to ask your care team:

  • Who should I contact and when?
  • What should I watch for?
  • What supports is available?

Feeling heard and understood

Speak up about how you’re feeling

If you’re unsure or overwhelmed, let your care team know. It’s okay to say you’re still processing what’s happening.

Ask questions

Don’t be afraid to:

  • Ask questions.
  • Share concerns.
  • Check that you’ve understood your options.

Speaking up isn’t always easy, but it can help you feel more supported and in control.

Do what feels right for you

Some people rest at home. Others stay busy or follow a routine. There’s no right or wrong — just what feels right for you.

Whether you’re with someone or on your own, remember: your voice matters.

Feeling overwhelmed?

Try One moment at a time: a guide for when the days feel long or A moment to pause: a mindfulness practice — both found later in this guide.

A flat illustration of two people seated side by side in conversation. One person gestures while speaking and holds a notebook on their lap, suggesting note-taking or guidance, while the other listens with hands folded. The scene conveys supportive dialogue, counseling, or a facilitated discussion.

Wellbeing Strategy

Simple Comforts

When things feel heavy or overwhelming, small comforts can help you feel more grounded — even for a moment.

You might already know what works for you, or you could try some of these:

A simple line icon of a showerhead with water droplets flowing downward, drawn in a muted purple outline against a dark background. The design represents showering, hygiene, self-care, or daily routines.

Take a warm shower, even just for a few minutes.

A minimalist line icon of a bowl containing leafy herbs and a small flower, drawn in a muted purple outline against a dark background. The image suggests herbal remedies, nourishment, natural care, or holistic wellbeing.

Eat something simple and nourishing, even if it’s small.

A minimalist line icon of a single water droplet outlined in muted purple against a dark background. The simple design represents hydration, water, cleansing, or bodily fluids, depending on context.

Drink water to stay hydrated.

A minimalist line icon showing a pillow with a small alarm clock resting above it, drawn in muted purple against a light background. The simple design represents sleep, rest, bedtime routines, or healthy sleep habits.

Rest when your body needs it.

A minimalist line icon of a person sitting cross-legged in a meditation pose with arms raised overhead, drawn in muted purple against a light background. The simple design symbolizes yoga, mindfulness, relaxation, and mental wellbeing.

Move gently — like a short walk, stretching, or swaying.

A minimalist line icon of an open window with the sun visible outside, drawn in muted purple against a light background. The simple design suggests fresh air, daylight, ventilation, or creating a healthy indoor environment.

Step outside or open a window for fresh air.

A minimalist line icon of a bed with a pillow and blanket, drawn in muted purple against a light background. The simple design represents rest, sleep, comfort, or a healthy bedtime routine.

Wrap up in a soft blanket or something warm.

Spending time in nature — even in small ways — can help you feel steadier. 

Try listening to birds, feeling the sun on your skin, or watering a plant. Noticing simple things around you can bring a sense of calm or connection.

You may be feeling overwhelmed, numb, anxious — or you may not be sure what you’re feeling.

Take a moment to pause and care for your own thoughts and wellbeing.

You might choose to:

  • Jot down what you’re feeling or thinking
  • Write a question you’d like to ask later
  • Note something you want to remember or say to someone
  • Just sit quietly and take a few slow breaths

There’s no right or wrong way to reflect. You can come back to this whenever is helpful.

Western Pacific Regional Office of the International Stillbirth Alliance
Coordinating Centre, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Alliance, Perinatal Society of Australia and New Zealand

Level 3, Aubigny Place
Mater Research Institute
Raymond Terrace,
South Brisbane QLD 4101
The University of Queensland Faculty of Medicine

General Enquiries
stillbirthcre@mater.uq.edu.au
+61 7 3163 2567
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