One moment at a time: A guide for when the days feel long
In the early days after loss, even simple things — getting out of bed, making a meal, replying to a message — can feel like too much.
When everything feels uncertain or too hard to face, it’s okay to focus only on the next small step. You don’t have to figure everything out right now. You don’t have to feel okay all at once.
This guide offers small, gentle ways to help you through, moment by moment.
Wellbeing Strategy
Small steps through uncertainty
A guide for when time feels overwhelming
When you’re waiting — for answers, a procedure, or what comes next — time can feel unbearable. The future may seem too far away or unclear. Instead of trying to get through the whole day, focus on just one moment at a time.
If time feels too big, break it down:
- One breath: Inhale and exhale. That’s enough.
- One minute: Close your eyes, stretch your hands, or place a hand on your heart.
- Five minutes: Make a cup of tea, step outside, or hold something comforting
- Ten minutes: Listen to a song, text someone, or wrap yourself in something warm.
Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do right now?
- Take a sip of water.
- Adjust your posture or move to a different space.
- Light a candle or touch something soft.
If you feel overwhelmed:
- Hold onto a warm drink or press your feet to the ground.
- Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method:
five things you can see
four things you can touch
three things you can hear
two things you can smell
one thing you can taste
It’s okay to move between distraction and awareness:
- Watch a show, scroll your phone, or listen to a podcast if you need a break.
- Or take a quiet moment to feel whatever you’re feeling.
Be gentle with yourself:
- However, you get through is okay.
- If all you do is breathe, that is enough.
- If all you do is make it through this minute, that is enough.
As you move through these early days, remember — healing doesn’t follow a schedule or a set timeline.
In time, you may find your own way forward — one step at a time — in the weeks and months ahead.
You’ve made it to this point, moment by moment — and that matters. After pregnancy loss, even small steps can feel big. You might be feeling tired, sad, numb, relieved, confused — or nothing at all. Whatever you’re feeling is valid.
This is a moment to pause, check in with yourself, or simply rest.
You might choose to:
- Notice what your body is asking for right now — rest, movement, stillness.
- Jot down something that brought you comfort today, even briefly.
- Ask yourself if there is something I need — or something I’m ready to let go of?
- Offer yourself a kind or gentle thought.
There’s no pressure to respond in any particular way. Showing up for yourself is enough.
