The beginning of a pregnancy after loss can feel deeply complex — often a mix of cautious hope, quiet reflection, and emotional uncertainty. Some parents describe it as bittersweet. You might feel excited or anxious, protective or disconnected, or unsure how to feel.
In this section, you’ll find guidance for the early stages of pregnancy after loss — what to expect at first appointments and scans, how to choose a care provider who feels right for you, and an overview of pregnancy care options.
Holding grief and joy together
It’s okay to feel both happy and sad during this time. It’s not unusual to feel unsure about connecting with a new pregnancy, or to wonder what it means to hope again.
You are not replacing your baby. Each child is unique, and so is the love you carry for them. It’s possible to honour your grief while also making room for new beginnings.
Some parents find comfort in quiet rituals, saying their baby’s name, writing, lighting a candle. Others follow their own path without anything formal. There’s no right or wrong way.
What matters most is giving yourself permission to feel what you feel — and knowing you’re not alone.
Wellbeing Strategy
When you are riding an emotional wave — a quick pause
When you find out you are pregnant again, it’s common to feel a wave of emotions. Take a moment to pause and check in with yourself:
Pause and breathe: Take a slow, deep breath. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, then breathe out for four. Do this three times to help calm your body and mind.
Notice your feelings: Pay attention to how you are feeling, without judging yourself. It’s okay to feel happy and scared at the same time. If you want, write your feelings down.
Feel the present moment: Put your feet flat on the ground. Look around you. What can you see, hear, or feel right now?
Say something kind to yourself: Try saying ‘These feelings are understandable. I’m doing my best, one step at a time.’
Talking with your GP
Early in pregnancy, one of the first people you may speak with is your GP. It’s important to feel safe sharing your past loss, your concerns, and what you might need this time. Being open helps your GP or care provider offer care that supports both your physical and emotional wellbeing.
You can ask about risks, emotional support, early pregnancy care, and tests. Bringing a partner or support person can help — they can take notes, ask questions, and support you through the conversation.
GPs may not have all the answers, but they can guide you, connect you with services, and support your wellbeing. Depending on your location and care pathway, they may stay involved or refer you to a maternity team or Pregnancy After Loss Clinic.
If you don’t feel heard, it’s okay to seek a second opinion. If that’s not possible, you can still build a supportive team — this might include a midwife, obstetrician, Aboriginal health worker, mental health professional, or other local service.
A note on trauma
Early pregnancy scans can bring up strong emotions — especially if you’ve had a loss at this stage before. For some people, going back to the same type of appointment — or even the same room — can feel like reliving the moment they found out their baby had died.
This is a real trauma response. You might notice your body reacting before your mind has time to catch up — like a racing heart, nausea, tears, or feeling numb. These are natural signs to that your body remembers the pain and is trying to protect you.
If scans are hard for you, let your care team know. You can ask for things like:
- A support person to come with you.
- For the screen to be turned away until you’re ready.
- To be told right away if your baby is well.
Do what helps you feel safer. Healing from trauma doesn’t happen all at once, and it’s okay if moments like this bring up strong feelings.
The first scan
In a pregnancy after loss, the first scan can bring many emotions. For some people, this scan may happen in a care providers’ office, often with a family doctor or obstetrician, as a reassurance scan. This is a quick scan to check if the pregnancy is developing and to look for a heartbeat. It may happen earlier than other routine scans, depending on your care.
You may also be offered a dating scan, usually between 7 weeks and 10 weeks of pregnancy. This scan checks how far along the pregnancy is and helps plan future care. If you have already had a reassurance scan, this dating scan may still happen to confirm your dates and check the baby’s growth.
“Every scan was terrifying. I couldn’t look at the screen at first.”
“They asked if I wanted to hear the heartbeat and I just froze. It was too much, too soon.”
Pregnancy and baby loss can deeply affect how someone feels about scans in a new pregnancy. For many, the news of their baby’s death came during a scan. Because of this, scans can feel overwhelming, frightening, or bring up difficult memories. These feelings are valid. If you are pregnant, you can talk with your care provider about what might help you feel more supported — such as bringing someone with you, asking for quiet during the scan, or deciding whether to see the screen right away. If you are attending the scan as a support person, you may also have your own feelings. It can help to talk together beforehand about what might make the appointment feel more manageable for both of you.
Every pregnancy is different. You can talk with your care team about when scans will happen and what kind of support might help. It’s okay to ask for what you need. Your preferences are important, and you deserve to have them heard.
Key things to remember for your first scan
- Your first scan might be a reassurance scan with a doctor or a dating scan at a clinic — both are common.
- Your baby may not be fully visible yet — this is normal in early pregnancy.
- It’s okay if your emotions feel strong, mixed, or unpredictable.
- The scan may check where the pregnancy is growing and look for early signs of development.
- A follow-up scan is common and may be needed to get more information.
- Talk with your care team about what to expect and remember that it’s okay to ask for what you need.
- Take things at your own pace. There’s no rush.
Coping with uncertainty — grounding yourself in the moment
Waiting for answers — whether it’s after a scan, between appointments, or during early pregnancy—can be incredibly hard. After experiencing loss, these waiting periods can feel especially heavy.
It’s easy to get caught in the what ifs and feel pulled between the past and the future.
Wellbeing Strategy
One way to care for yourself is to focus on ‘just this moment’. When things feel unsettled, try one of these grounding practices to help you come back to now:
Take a few slow breaths, notice how your body feels, and what is around you.
Look for one small comfort — a warm drink, fresh air, a favourite scent, or a moment of stillness.
Set a gentle focus for right now — not for the whole day, just the next hour or so. It could be as simple as ‘I’ll sit and rest for a while,’ or ‘I’ll reach out to someone who gets me.’
These small pauses can help you feel steadier when the future feels unclear.
You might also like to use this time to quietly reflect or journal — not to solve anything, but to give your thoughts and emotions a soft place to land. There is no pressure to make sense of it all. Simply noticing what you feel and what you need right now is enough.
One nurse held my hand and said, ‘Whatever you’re feeling right now is okay.’ That stayed with me.
