The early days

The early days with your baby can be filled with love, uncertainty, and everything in between. This section offers support for navigating those first tender weeks.

Emotional adjustment

Welcoming a baby after a previous loss can stir a wide range of emotions — joy, anxiety, grief, and everything in between. You may have expected relief but instead find yourself feeling on edge, checking on your baby constantly, or struggling to connect in the way you had hoped. These feelings are a normal part of adjusting after loss. They don’t make you any less strong or capable as a parent.

Support from family, friends, and care professionals can help you navigate this time — making space for both the baby in your arms and the one who is no longer with you.

You may also notice unexpected emotions surfacing. Feeling teary, irritable, or experiencing waves of sadness is common in the early days. This could be the baby blues — a short-term response to hormonal changes. If these feelings last beyond two weeks, feel overwhelming, or affect your daily life, they may be signs of postnatal depression (PND) or another perinatal mental health condition. Reaching out early can make a real difference.

Settling in with your baby

The early days of caring for your baby can feel tender and intense. These moments are often a blur of feeding, settling, and adjusting to new rhythms — physically and emotionally.

Alongside love and joy, you might also feel vulnerable. For some parents, the contrast between this experience and past loss becomes more visible — reminders of the baby who died, moments missed, or rituals not experienced.
All of this is valid. You’re learning to care for your baby while carrying both love and loss.

You might find it helpful to:

• Keep routines simple and flexible as you adjust.
• Ask for support with meals, errands, or care of other children.
• Make space for quiet moments with your baby, even briefly.
• Reflect on ways to include the baby who died in daily life — through stories, rituals, or remembrance.

If this is your first time parenting at home, you’re learning everything from scratch — how to feed, soothe, and understand your baby’s cues. Be patient with yourself. You’re not expected to have all the answers.

There’s no perfect way to do this. You’re finding your way — moment by moment.

Caring for your body

Adjusting to life after birth — whether you’re caring for your baby at home or spending time apart — also means caring for your own physical recovery.

You may have experienced some of these changes before, especially if you’ve given birth following a previous loss. In the past, you might not have received the same level of follow-up care. But it’s important to know postnatal care should always be offered, no matter the outcome of your pregnancy.

The early postpartum period can bring many physical changes — some expected, others surprising. Giving yourself time to heal, ask questions, and seek support is a vital part of recovery. You deserve care that sees your whole experience.

A postnatal check-up often happens in the first week, and then again at 6 weeks after birth. This is often with your GP or midwife and can cover:

• How your body is healing, including bleeding, stitches, or caesarean wound care.
• Pelvic floor and continence concerns.
• Breast and chest changes related to lactation.
• Mental health and emotional wellbeing including signs of low mood or worry.
• Any ongoing physical concerns or questions you may have.

You might also like to talk with your care team earlier — especially if you’re unsure about something or feel unwell. They can also refer you to other professionals, like women’s health physiotherapists, exercise physiologists, or dietitians.

Some parents find it helpful to connect with peer support groups, community programs, or compassionate healthcare professionals who understand the emotional layers of recovery after loss.

Feeding your baby

Feeding your baby after loss can bring up many emotions. Whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle feeding, mix feeding, or still finding your way, it’s okay to feel joy, fear, sadness, or uncertainty — sometimes all at once

For many parents, this may be the first time they’ve breastfed. Lactation can be physically demanding and emotionally complex, especially if your previous experience didn’t involve feeding your baby. You might feel proud, overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure. It’s also normal for your body to change in ways you didn’t expect.

Some parents find breastfeeding meaningful. Others find comfort in using formula, or a combination of both. What matters most is that your baby is nourished, and that you feel supported in whatever choices you make.

Feeding takes time to learn. It’s okay if it’s harder than expected, if plans change, or if unexpected emotions arise. You’re not alone — and you deserve care and support as you navigate this part of your journey.