Birth and your baby

and the postpartum period

Part 1

The birth journey

As you prepare for birth and the early days with your baby, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions. This section offers gentle guidance to help you feel more informed and supported.

Antenatal classes

Antenatal classes after a loss can bring mixed emotions. These classes offer helpful information about pregnancy, birth, and caring for a newborn — but they can also feel overwhelming at times. What matters most is choosing what feels right for you.

Some things to keep in mind:

Some topics may be hard — stories or discussions about pregnancy and birth might bring up strong emotions.
You might feel more anxious — worry and fear can feel stronger as the due date gets closer.
Feeling seen matters — finding a space where your story is acknowledged can help you feel more supported.
Personalised care helps — some parents benefit from classes or support that recognise their loss and meet their unique needs.
Talking helps — sharing your worries with your care team can help them support you better.
Knowing the space — visiting the hospital or birth centre before labour can help you feel more prepared and at ease.

There’s no right or wrong way to do this.

You might join a group class, ask for one-on-one support, or take a break from classes altogether. Trust yourself to choose what works best for you.

Birth plans

A birth plan can help you clarify what matters most, communicate your preferences, and ensure your care team understands your history — especially if care is shared or your team changes during labour.

It’s not a fixed plan or something that has to be followed exactly, but it can be a helpful tool to support thoughtful, compassionate care. This can be especially helpful if you’re birthing away from home or in a rural or remote setting.

“I could not make a decision, but my doctor never pressured me. Right up to the late stages, he was happy to go with whatever I felt.”

Key things to consider
About you	A short note on your previous loss, and how you’d like it to be acknowledged. Your goals or hopes for this birth experience. Any sensitivities or language you’d prefer staff to avoid.
Support people	Who you’d like with you during labour and birth (e.g. partner, family member, doula). Whether support people can travel with you (if care is away from home). If you’d like staff trained in bereavement or trauma-informed care.
Labour and birth	How you’d like to be included in decisions. Preferences for communication style, extra monitoring, and pain relief. Your preferred room environment (e.g. quiet, music, lighting). How to acknowledge your previous loss during labour.
After birth	Preferences for skin-to-skin contact or bonding with your baby. How you’d like your partner/support person to be involved. Feeding goals and emotional support you might need postpartum. Whether you’d like mental health follow-up or telehealth referrals.
If plans change	How you would like to be told about necessary changes to your care. Where you would like to go if your baby needs extra care. Your support needs if a caesarean is required. Travel or communication needs if you’re far from home.
Tip: Write down key points or ask your care team to help document them. Bring a copy with you just in case your care is shared across services or distance.

Timing of birth

Your baby continues to grow and develop right up until birth. Research shows that, in general, reaching full term can support both short and long-term health.

At the same time, pregnancy after loss can bring strong emotions. Waiting for labour to start naturally may feel especially hard. Many parents find it challenging to balance what feels safest medically with what feels manageable emotionally and mentally.

There’s no one answer for everyone. The timing and type of birth should be based on your individual situation — your health, your baby’s wellbeing, and your emotional needs.

Some parents feel more at ease planning an earlier birth, such as an induction or caesarean. Others prefer to wait for labour to begin on its own. Both choices can be valid and safe, depending on your situation.

Your care team is there to help you understand your options and make decisions together. These conversations may start early in your pregnancy and change as things progress. It’s okay to ask questions, share your concerns, and talk about what matters to you. Your voice and choices are important.

As birth approaches, your feelings may grow stronger. Be gentle with yourself. You are carrying not just your baby, but also your hopes, your memories, and your grief. Lean on the support around you — both medical and emotional — as you prepare for this next step.

“I wish I’d had a solid plan on delivery from the get-go.”

Getting ready to welcome your baby

As you get ready for birth and bringing your baby home, you might feel many different emotions. This section offers gentle guidance to help you plan in a way that feels right for you.

Getting your home ready can bring up strong emotions — like hope, fear, uncertainty, or even disbelief. After loss, planning can feel scary or too hard. You might feel unsure about when or how much to prepare.

Some parents feel calmer when they start organising early. Others wait until later or ask someone they trust to help. There is no right or wrong way — only what feels manageable for you.

One parent said it wasn’t until another bereaved parent gently reminded her, “This baby needs you too — whatever the outcome,” that she felt ready to start preparing. That truth can feel heavy, but it can also be a turning point.

Whether you’re setting up a nursery, packing your hospital bag, or taking just one small step, it’s important to go at your own pace. You may feel strong emotions as you prepare, and these feelings can shape what you choose to do. Some parents honour their previous baby in a special way. Others create a space that feels entirely new — both choices are deeply personal.

Support from loved ones, care providers, or pregnancy after loss groups can help with the emotional load. Be kind to yourself as you prepare — whatever that looks like. You are doing your best.

“I was terrified the whole time. I didn’t believe we’d make it. Not until I held her.”