Starting care with your maternity team
Your first appointment is an important step in your pregnancy care. It’s a chance to begin building trust with your care team, share what matters to you, and start planning the support you need.
This is also a time to talk about your health history, ask questions, and begin planning the care you need. Your team may check in about any health conditions you have, emotional support, or extra monitoring that might help you feel safer.
It can help to:
- Write questions down ahead of time.
- Bring a support person.
- Take your time — it’s okay if trust takes a while to build.
- Speak up about your needs, concerns, or hopes.
Preparing for your first appointment
- Transfer medical records: Request any relevant medical records, including past pregnancy tests or reports, to be sent to your new care team. They may ask about your health history, including your gynaecological, pregnancy, and mental health history.
- Plan: Write down any questions or thoughts you want to share. A support person can come along to help and may have questions of their own.
- Share what matters: Let your care team know about any personal, cultural, or spiritual preferences you have — such as using your baby’s name when talking about your loss.
- Think about support: If you feel you need extra emotional or practical support, don’t hesitate to ask your care team about what’s available to you.
- Speak up for yourself: It’s okay to let your care team know about what you need, or what you think you might need — even if it feels difficult. Some people find it helpful to bring someone who can help express their concerns or ask important questions. Sadly, not every care provider may fully understand the impact of previous loss, so preparing ahead can help ensure your experiences are acknowledged.
It’s completely normal to have a wave of emotions at this appointment — remember, it’s not just another visit. While experiences with care can vary, your feelings and story matter, and it’s okay to take the space you need.
Navigating risks together
Your care team will talk with you about any factors that may affect this pregnancy. This includes your health, the details of your previous pregnancy or loss, and any known medical conditions. They may also look at past test results or reports to help plan your care. If anything feels unclear, it’s okay to ask questions — your team is there to help you understand.
You may also talk about things that can be supported or changed, like blood pressure, diabetes, weight, or lifestyle habits. If needed, your care team can connect you with extra support, such as a specialist, a mental health professional, or someone to help with healthy eating and movement.
Your team may use screening tools and early ultrasounds to check how things are going. You might also hear about programs like the Safer Baby Bundle, which uses research-based steps to help reduce risk and support a safer pregnancy for you and your baby.
Safer Baby Bundle
Broader initiatives like the Safer Baby Bundle provide evidence-based strategies to support safer pregnancies. While your care plan will be based on your personal needs and history, these five key areas — quitting smoking, your baby’s growth, monitoring movements, safe sleep positioning, and discussing the timing of your baby’s birth — are known to reduce risk and support safer pregnancies. These are simple but important steps that you and your care team might focus on together.
- #Quit4Baby — Quitting smoking is one of the best ways to support a healthy pregnancy.
- #Growing Matters — Keeping an eye on your baby’s growth helps track their wellbeing.
- #MovementsMatter — Noticing and reporting changes in your baby’s movements is important.
- #SleeponSide — Going to sleep on your side (in the third trimester) can help reduce risks.
- #LetsTalkTiming — Talking with your care team about when to have your baby helps plan a safe birth.
Your care team can help explain how these steps may fit into your pregnancy and answer any questions you have.
Extra check-ups and care during pregnancy
After talking about risks and ways to keep your pregnancy as safe as possible, it’s helpful to know what extra care you might receive.
How often you have appointments or scans will depend on your health, your pregnancy history, and the kind of care you’re receiving. Your team may suggest extra growth scans — often every four weeks from around 24 weeks. These check your baby’s growth and use tools like ultrasound or Doppler to monitor blood flow and overall wellbeing. Some parents find more frequent check-ups reassuring — especially around key dates, like the pregnancy week (gestation) when their previous baby died. Others might prefer fewer scans to reduce stress. There’s no right or wrong— talk with your care team about what feels best for you.
You’ll also learn what’s normal when it comes to your baby’s movements and why it’s important to notice any changes. If something feels different, trust your instincts and contact your care team straight away.
Your care plan should support both your physical and emotional wellbeing. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up — your team is there to listen and help.
What support you might ask for
Every family is different, and it’s okay to ask for care that helps you feel safe and supported. Depending on your situation, you might ask for:
- More check-ups and scans, especially around important dates.
- A support person (like a partner, friend, or doula) at appointments or during birth.
- Seeing the same midwife or doctor each time.
- A clear plan for how scan results will be shared (like hearing the heartbeat first).
- Time to ask questions or talk about past experiences.
- Clear and kind communication from your whole care team.
- Flexibility with your birth plan or where you give birth, based on how you’re feeling.
- A way to honour your previous baby, like using their name in your notes or birth plan.
- Referrals to counselling or Pregnancy After Loss support services.
You don’t have to ask for all of these — just the ones that matter most to you.
Your voice matters in your care.
Finding the words — speaking up in appointments
It’s okay to ask questions, share your worries, or ask for extra support during pregnancy. If you’re not sure how to start, here are some ways to start the conversation:
If you want more monitoring:
- “Can we talk about what kind of checks or scans I can have?”
- “I’m feeling a bit anxious — could I have more regular check-ups?”
- “Last time, I felt unsure about what was happening. Can we plan for more reassurance this time?”
If something doesn’t feel right:
- “This might be nothing, but something feels different. Can we check it out?”
- “I’m worried about this symptom — can we talk about what it could mean?”
- “Can you explain what you’re seeing and why it’s not a concern?”
If you feel dismissed or not listened to:
- “I don’t feel fully heard right now. Can I explain a bit more?”
- “I know you might not be worried, but I still feel anxious. Can we talk more about what’s happening?”
- “I need a bit more time or explanation to feel okay with this.”
If you need emotional support or time to think:
- “This is a lot for me — can we pause or talk about it later?”
- “I’m finding this hard. Is there someone else I can talk to, like a counsellor or social worker?”
There’s no one right way to speak up. If it’s hard to talk in the moment, you can:
- Write down what you want to say.
- Bring someone with you.
- Ask for a follow-up call or appointment.
If you still feel unheard
Sometimes, even after speaking up, concerns may not be taken seriously. If this happens, you have the right to ask for a second opinion or to escalate your concerns.
You can:
- Ask to speak with a senior clinician, midwifery manager, or team leader.
- Contact the hospital’s Patient Liaison or Consumer Liaison service.
It’s important that you feel safe, respected, and heard in your care.
Mental health and support
Pregnancy after loss can bring many emotions — hope, fear, sadness, and everything in between. Early on, it’s normal to feel unsure, especially when meeting new care providers or attending appointments that stir up memories.
You may be asked to complete a mental health questionnaire at some point. This is routine in many pregnancy care settings. It helps your team check in on your emotional wellbeing and offer support if needed. Answering honestly, even if it feels vulnerable, can be a first step toward feeling more understood and supported.
Wellbeing Strategy
Grounding techniques help take your mind off upsetting thoughts by focusing on the present moment.
Grounding technique
A helpful grounding technique is 5-4-3-2-1. Notice:
five things you can see
four things you can touch
three things you can hear
two things you can smell
one thing you can taste
Creative Grounding
A drawing activity for uncertain moments
If being creative helps you feel calm, this simple task can offer comfort while you wait.
Draw a safe space
Draw a place — real or imagined — where you feel safe, calm and supported. It could be a room, a landscape, a place from memory, or something made up just for you. Add any colours, objects, or people (real or symbolic) that help you feel more at ease.
There’s no right way or wrong way to do this. It doesn’t need to look a certain way. This is just for you.
If you’re not sure where to begin, try drawing:
- A small house or shelter.
- A tree with strong roots.
- A soft blanket or cocoon.
- A starry sky or circle of light.
Let this be a place your mind can return to when things feel uncertain.
Emotions during this time can change quickly or catch you off guard. You might notice familiar feelings returning or encounter new ones entirely. Whether clear or hard to name, all of it matters. You might like to reflect on:
- What’s been on your mind as you move through this pregnancy? (Are there thoughts or feelings that keep returning? Anything that feels especially present right now?)
- What are you hoping for in the weeks ahead? (This could be something big or something small — anything that feels important to you.)
- What kind of support might help you feel steadier or cared for right now? (Think about people, routines, conversations, or quiet moments that help you feel grounded.)
Use this reflection however you need. You may like to note down a thought, sketch, sit with a feeling, or simply keep reading. You might use this moment to reflect privately or to prepare something you’d like to discuss at your next appointment. There’s no right or wrong way to do this.
Let this be a gentle invitation to pause and notice how you’re doing today — in your own way, at your own pace.
